


ᔕ丅ᗩƳ ᖴᖇᗴᔕᕼ

by Baguette_Me_Not



Series: TAU-VERSE [10]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Complete crack, Crack, Freshnip au, I can't believe this is the first time I've posted a fic with Stan, That tag is important too can't forget that, This simply will not do, Yggdrasil - Freeform, and I mean it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28208052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baguette_Me_Not/pseuds/Baguette_Me_Not
Summary: Cursed to temporarily be possessed by the spirit of Dippy Fresh when in contact with Yggdrasil, Alcor has a summons that proves... interesting.
Series: TAU-VERSE [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1468874
Comments: 14
Kudos: 25





	ᔕ丅ᗩƳ ᖴᖇᗴᔕᕼ

**Author's Note:**

> Was never going to write for this, but then we got talking on the Transcendence Discord and, well >:) I had to quickly spin something up.

𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚍𝚛𝚞𝚐𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚍𝚜! 

~ 𝙳𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚑, 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢, 𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛

* * *

“Grunkle Stan?!” 

Stan jolts, belatedly realising he’d been about ninety nine point nine percent close to dozing off, despite the the absolute showdown the latest episode of  _ ‘Soap and suds.’ _ A soap opera he’s been watching that really, ah, takes the  _ ‘soap’ _ part a step too literally. Stan had been on the edge of his seat when he found out Peggie may not really be Peggie at all, but her cousin Christine who’d assumed her identity to pay off the debt for her husband’s soap factory. At least, Stan had thought he’d been on edge, up until he finds himself being shaken awake by an overly distressed Mabel, obscuring a tv that’s definitely not his beloved soap opera.

Which, ah, good. It’s a secret he’ll take to his grave and then some, thank you very much. If anyone comes asking, he was watching Baby Fights, okay?

“Pumpkin?” He sounds groggy from sleep, but it’s nothing a little clearing of the throat won’t fix. “What’s wrong?”

“Dipper!” Mabel says, words fast, frenzied — like she’s speeding down candy cane lane driving at Smile Dip miles an hour, or, you know, taking a page out of his book and still feeling the thrill from evading the police — and it’s all he needs to hear to know what the problem here is.

“Wasn’t he at a summons?” Stan vaguely recalls something about  _ ’urgh, not again _ ’ and  _ ’they have no taste when it comes to attire’ _ . So yes, Stan can safely assume Dipper’s been paying visits to his ‘clients’ again to distribute the good old business card, if you get where Stan’s going with this. “Isn’t he back yet?”

“No!” Mabel shakes her head, jingling about fifty of the bedazzled bells she’s managed to tie into her hair. Stans’s fairly sure his carpet’s getting a taste for the glitter too. “He should have been back ages ago! We need to go after him, Grunkle Stan. He could be in danger. T-they could have him right now, and-”

“Mabel, sweetie,” Stan cuts in, before that train of thought can derail into something catastrophic like ‘what if Dipper’s been kidnapped by aliens’ — though thinking about it he’d love that, and it would make for some good business if he could market it right — reaching out to lay a hand on Mabel’s shoulder when Stan can’t find a safe spot on the head that doesn’t involve glitter. 

Mabel pauses, trailing her eyes back to him as her expression calms somewhat, waiting for whatever assurance he’s got up his sleeve. Yes. Well. He’s going to think of something.

“You know your brother,” Stan says, which is as good a start as any, “With those demon powers of his under his belt, and my skills in conmanship, your brother’s one tough cookie to crack.” He adds in a chuckle to lighten the load. The atmosphere’s getting a little too tense for his liking. “I bet you any money he’s just gotten a little caught up with a bunch of girls again, bribing him with some of that Rocky Road ice cream he loves. But, if you’re that worried, we can-“

Stan’s not cut off from his mind taking the wander — shut up, he’s not  _ that _ old — but rather a sound like dozens of party poppers are being let off all at once.

Probably because they are party poppers being let off. All at once. Confetti everywhere. Oh  _ waffles _ , this is going to be one heck of a something to clean up.

Stan’s about to ask Mabel if she’s set off a few glitter bombs to go off after this, when he notices a figure emerging from amongst the chaos. A very familiar figure dressed like he’s been ripped straight from the nineties, back to front cap and everything. 

Stan should know. He’s lived through them and all the questionable choices of the decade he made. Like this one attraction at the Mystery Shack, what had he been thinking by merging a-

“Look, see?” Stans says to interrupt where his thoughts are heading, making sure to pull away all confetti from his mouth, “They’ve even been playing dress up.” 

Then, shifting his attention to the new arrival, Stan addresses him, “Dipper, kid, I‘ve gotta say this fanfare is impressive, and I’m asking again if you’ll reconsider me hiring you for the Shack’s grand reopening as a library. But.” He makes a vague gesture to all around him, “You’ve managed to get more confetti in this room than  _ Mabel _ and that’s saying something.”

“That’s Wiggedy wiggedy wack dudebro,” Dipper says, going through to give him a fist bump. “C’mon, don’t leave me hanging! I’m not digging that at all.”

When all Stan can do is blink, taken aback for a moment or two by the incredibly out of character display, Mabel’s already ahead of him. A grin slowly unfurls from the corners of her mouth as the worry melts away, all but forgotten as she pumps out a first to him in greeting.

“Dippy Fresh!” Mabel squeals, then begins to tug at Stan’s arm. “Grunkle Stan! It’s okay, see, it’s just Dippy Fresh.”

Stan scratches his head, looking between the pair sure he’s missing something here.

“Kid, I’ll admit it, I’m stumped. Dippy who now? Is he going through some demonic midlife crisis?” 

“Oh. No, no,” Mabel assures, “He’s just high.”

Stan’s pretty sure that, had he been a ‘responsible parent’, he should be a little concerned by this statement.

She goes on, “It’s this tree stuff the cultists burn, real sick nasty demon weed. We call it Freshnip because when they do, he gets like this because Dippy Fresh cursed him when Dipper twisted his neck in my bubble — long story — and, well, here he is!” Mabel spreads her arms wide, gesturing up to the floating Dipper-now-turned-Dippy Fresh, as if to say,  _ ‘voila’ _ . 

“He’ll be back in whenever it wears off, like it did last time in front of our parents...” There’s a solemn pause, and if Stan’s to hazard a guess, it’ll be that Mabel’s being reminded of some pretty unpleasant memories. “But he usually just skateboards around a lot and tells cultists not to do weed. He’s great!”

Well then. That answers some things.

“Wait the rad minute up dudette,” Says Dippy Fresh, and Stan’s never heard such an overuse of slang in his life, “Is that  _ weed _ ? That’s not fresh at all! I’m calling the police!”

He’s... he’s not going to be able to get back to ‘Soap and Suds’, is he?

“Flipperoni my wack bro, now here’s the not so fresh thing about that!”

He really isn’t.

“See my ‘Most Radical Dude On The Block Pin’?” Dippy Fresh points with his bat wings curling around to said pin, spontaneously materialising on top of his neon disaster of a puffer jacket that actual Dipper would have a heart attack at. “It means I’m totally the go to bro for for advice. And let I’ll let you in on a secret!”

But, hey, at least Stan knows where the camera is. Dipper’s just going to  _ love _ this. And maybe, just maybe, with the correct motivation as his ammo, Stan can coerce the kid into helping with the grand reopening after all.

Dippy Fresh looks out towards no one in particular, hand resting on the brim of his cap as he flashes you a lazy grin, “Swiggidy swaggedy don’t do drugs kids! Or you’ll end up like me!”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Dipper in the morning observing the chaos: ‘oh no, what did I do?’
> 
> Mabel, with her photo scrapbook ‘oh do I have news for you’
> 
> Stan with the camera ‘don’t worry, everything not in there is caught on tape’


End file.
